Lyrics

So you can pack your bags
And you can get in your car
And I'll wave from the drive
Sitting with your girly friends
But something isn't sitting right
Your clothes are like hippy rags
You can be seen from afar
So hot when you arrive
Hope the weekend never ends
But I've not come along for the ride

And I'm not worried in the slightest bit
I know you'd do it for the hell of it
Even if it was a tiny kiss
I know you'd only be taking the piss
Even if you're not seeing clearly
Please don't kiss anyone unironically
Oooooh yeah

You'll take a couple of drags
Like the fume from a car
Wash it down with some wine
You've got The Joker's lips on your face
And you look like a tattoo artist's swine
But of course I don't mind
As long as you're having fun
I know you're not the unfaithful type
You can take him back to your place
Because I know that you're all mine

And I'm not worried in the slightest bit
I know you'd do it for the hell of it
Even if it was a tiny kiss
I know you'd only be taking the piss
Even if you're not seeing clearly
Please don't kiss anyone unironically
Oooooh yeah

And while she's dancing to The Hives
A man bumps into her back
He looks at her and asks her if he can buy her a drink
She says, 'Ok' and they dance the night away
He asks her if she's single and she says, 'Yes'
No guilt is felt and then she asks him if he wants to go back to her place
He looks at her and says, 'Well ok'

And I'm not worried cause before you left
You said you loved me and it wasn't bereft
But on your Facebook there's a diamond ring
And you're calling him your everything
But it's ok because I'm sitting at home
Waiting patiently for you to return
And although it says you've married him
I know in my heart it's only a glitch
You've got his surname and around five kids
If I was stupid I'd say that you loved him
But we both know that it's only a joke
You're pulling his leg till it's nearly broke
And God I hope you'll be home before tea
Just please don't kiss anyone unironically

Oooooh yeah